i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
