Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i believe in u and ur pee
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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