Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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