.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
