Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
