are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
