Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
