New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
