I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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