so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
