That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
