the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
