What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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