It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
