kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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