Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
