I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
