what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
