I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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