So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
