I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
