Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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