Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
