he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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