so explain again why im purple
no
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
