When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My vagina just recognized that song.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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