well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
