god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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