dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
