Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
being pregnant is like rehab
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
