I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
