Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
