It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
