"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
