We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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