Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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