bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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