I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
