K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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