They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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