There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
