we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
