Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
