He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
