pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
