I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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