Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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