I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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