why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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