before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
