who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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