i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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