we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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