Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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