Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
