Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
