if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
