she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
