I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
