smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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