just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
