please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
